Myself the Subject: A Critical Examination of Non-Black Researchers Examining Blackness
By Kristina Johnson-Yates, MSW, LSW
We are happy to present a wonderful submission from the Scenes from a Black Feminist Symposium call for blog posts. This call invited attendees to submit blog posts reflecting on their experiences during the symposium. The first Black Women’s Studies Association Symposium was held virtually on October 20-21, 2023. The present entry, “Myself the Subject: A Critical Examination of Non-Black Researchers Examining Blackness,” was submitted by Kristina Johnson-Yates, a doctoral student at Indiana University Indianapolis.
I took a deep breath and exhaled after the plenary session on Sunday afternoon. As I listened to Dr. Briana Barner, Dr. Deirdre Cooper Owens, Dr. Christina Cross, Dr. Jallicia Jolly, and Dr. Janaka Lewis share their stories, I knew I was where I needed to be. The reverberating power and depth of these women's presence had a palpable impact on me. Nevertheless, by the end of the conference I was left with a question: “why does it bother me when non-Black people take up the work of studying Black women?” While attending the inaugural Black Women’s Studies Association virtual symposium, this question gave me a sense of pause. A symposium about Black women’s studies would surely center Black women, and I found that it did. But I also felt tension in moments where non-black bodies took up the work of exploring Blackness.
As a Black lesbian woman, the culmination of my life experiences do not afford me the luxury of being theoretical about how identity shapes my understanding of the world. My trepidation was about safety. Not the kind of safety that comes in the form of physical protection. After all, the virtual nature of the conference allowed me to experience these moments in the comfort of my own home. I am referring to the emotional and spiritual aspects of safety that allow me to inhale and exhale deeply, tapping into my parasympathetic nervous system as I engage in scholarly work, like the moment I had after the plenary session.
While I hold the belief that non-Black people can study Blackness in nuanced ways, my experiences around this have been tainted by moments of turmoil. I wonder if a researcher will view Black bodies as objects instead of humans? Coming in and taking what they want, leaving what they do not, all while building their careers on the backs of Black people. I question, “what do you want from us?” Blackness, and in this instance, Black women, become disposable.
When I think of Black feminism, I think of Black women doing work for and about Black women. Nevertheless, I want to challenge myself to think deeper. Learn to trust in ways that allow me to relax when listening to non-Black people explore Black women’s lives. I want to grow to open my mind to be able to examine my own identity through the lens of others. However, I have yet to experience a non-Black researcher focused on Blackness that has approached the work in a way that vulnerably centers their own personal bias and/or growth rather than centering my identity as a topic of sterile exploration. That lack of vulnerability makes my own emotional opening difficult.
The Black Women’s Studies Association symposium offered me an opportunity to hear from some amazing scholars and for that I am thankful. I also acknowledge how my personal experiences shape my understanding that who does research is as important as what is being researched. I want to be softer, more willing to receive information from multiple voices. My journey continues.
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